joeneato's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[F U Clock - Ep. III]

oh man

This is classic. Movies like this were the reason I first fell in love with the ClockCrew. I love this series; there's really no others like it in the Portal at the moment. It has these touches of absurd, surreal humor that I've associated with the clocks from day one (it's probably mostly your fault for making that awesome The Ring Clock Style) that I've never seen pulled off properly outside of a select few older clocks; mostly you and banana. I added you to my favorite authors and voted five.

[Cat Stapler 18]

I remember hating this series

I can't imagine why I didn't like this series; every episode is right up my ally. And I'm totally crushing on your frame-by-frame capabilities. Glad to see it return.

[Metal Gear Solid 2, SOB]

Funny

Not laugh-out-loud funny, but still pretty funny. This kind of reminds me of The Mattress Resprung in style and humor. You're actually a decent voice actor, which is more than can be said about most flash authors. To be honest, if this gets blammed, it's probably more because you said this was your first submission than anything else. Pity doesn't work on newgrounds; it's packed to the brim with pricks, so people see the word "first" and it registers as logical that the movie will get blammed, so you get a lot of unfair zeroes and ones.

You have a lot to work on, but you show serious potential.

[LL - Hotel California]

Disappointing

Hotel California is a complete nonsense song; The Eagles themselves have said that it's about nothing at all; they just wanted to see if they could create a song with completely random lyrics. But it still has some amount of flow and continuity that just isn't expressed here. It has a dramatic flare that takes a back seat here to underwhelming bright colors and 'cute' humor.
There's just no flow in it.
It looks like you went with the standard ClockCrew-established format of tossing out the mp3s to whoever you think is qualified and then letting them do their own thing, which is nice for artistic freedom, but bad for the movie.
A good example of a 'smart' collab would be "The Fulps - Tribute" by Munglai, MuhNotStoopid, NumberClock, and Sqeezy. You can totally see where Sqeezy comes in and fucks everything up, but other than that the movie is a solid collab.

Bits and peices were well done, and a few actually seemed to make sense, like Marshmallow's, but the lack of organization, and some really shitty parts brought the movie down as a whole.

[Merry Melony ep.1]

Fantastic

This movie makes me wish I'd never given a 10 for sound before now. It's quite an experience with a pair of high quality headphones. And the animation was equally spectacular; it's so rare to see well done frame-by-frame in a semi-realistic style. And the mood setting was so amazing; after the phonecall I began to notice all the oddities, like the car jutting out of the wall, and the subsequent cars jutting out of walls. And then there's the realization that those clouds aren't like any cloud I've seen.
Absolutly amazing.

[The Truth About NG]

hahaha

Error - no movie exists in the database with that id. It either never existed in the first place, or never made it to the Graveyard.

I never really thought about it, but it does seem rather strange when movies just disappear from existence. What could possibly be the reasoning? A handful of portal entries a day would really be only a drop in the bucket for a site that pulls as much traffic as Newgrounds. Now I'm all paranoid.

[goldencat rap !!!]

yarr

I hate explaining why things suck, because it's always so self-explanatory.
Here's a quick bullet summary:
-You didn't make the photoshops
-Robot voice
-Rapping robot voice
-Rapping robot voice with lyrics miraculously less clever than the real goldencat's
-Not fucking funny.

Have you seen any of BaconBurgerClock's Bedn movies? They were funny, adequatly done, and had decent voice acting. If you're going to mock someone, at least do it right.

The-Protector responds:

LOL ! you think that your movie are better ... OMG

[|Psycho II - Act One|]

2. Give a one-line summary of your review (50 char

As much as I submit to the ClockCrew=Dead ideal, this is really, really well done. The sound is classic Psycho, and the backgrounds are nothing short of awesome. The only problems are the animation, which is deceptively hard to get right with clocks, and the voices, which are the standard for ClockCrew movies anyway. And the intro's pretty drawn-owt. Other than that, it's great.
It kind of pisses me off, though. This kind of clock Flash should be the standard, not the exception. The amount of shitty clock movies floating through the Portal sets a negative stigma, and just makes the old ClockCrew look bad by proxy.

Well done, Golden.

[The Void II]

The city and portal have fallen

and the reign of the seeded has ended, our night has come, prepare for time travel

[One Ring to Rule ThemAll3]

Review contains spoilers and pretencious criticism

I think the trouble with LegendaryFrog movies is the focus on humor. The movies focus so intensely on humor that if the humor fails the viewer in any sense, the movie fails.
The delivery is so bland that I hadn't even considered laughing until the oddball "screw you" laser eye thing.
The only time I really enjoyed myself was the Tetris movie trailer (Penny Arcade beat you to the punch almost two years ago, but the delivery was decent.)