joeneato's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[NG Deathmatch 2]

My God....

Sweet monkey Jesus that was the most hilarious thing ever.
This is hands down the most enjoyable claymation I've ever seen.

It so perfectly satired everything in it, but in a non-aggressive way. Very, very well done.

[Gandhi Biography]

bah.

Movie's okay, but it's... not funny. There're very few humorous elements that havn't been seen a thousand times before. The dancing banana is everywhere, and it really stops being funny after the first couple times.
School projects tend to be not Newgrounds worthy.
It was too short, and it hardly even served it's purpose. Did he even say 5 facts about himself? And why was he talking in the past tense?

Also:

ThineDoor is a fucking idiot.

"It was just unconscionably unwatchable. Dreadful. I defy anyone to find a tangible entity so abhorrent and fatuous as to justly juxtapose to this technical and aesthetic putridity. You obviously don't have a proclivity to anything that vaguely alludes to any incarnation of faculty or adroitness."

Thank you. That is a complete pile of dogshit. What he's basically saying is that he can't bear to watch this for reasons beneath his understanding, and there is nothing that can be fairly called as bad as this. And he says the author has no talent.
That would be fine, if the entire thing weren't constructed in broken english, fucking twit. He uses adjectives as nouns, unconventional words that have been archaic for decades, and he even seems to allude to faux old-English that d&d players seem to love.
He was too busy looking up words in the thesaurus to stop and think about what he was actually saying. All he accomplished was making himself look like a huge douchebag.
Psuedo intellectuals like him should be rounded up and shot.

I gave your movie a five, because ThineDoor is a douche.

[Never B Your Woman]

Excellent job

Keep up the awesome work, guys. co.uk is putting the rest of us to shame.

The styles never clashed too severely, which is rare for a collab. Normally one moron always manages to mess up any good collab, but everything had a nice flow to it. Congradulations, I hope this wins Daily Feature.

4/5

[PICONJO CONFESSION]

I notice you're not wearing any golashes.

Golashes.

[Secret Mansion]

Very well done.

Excellent work.
There's was a small excess of tweening, and the voice acting left something to be desired, but it was overall solid movie that deserves some spotlight.

Your frame by framing was pretty awkward, but I like your use of deceptive animation, particularly the backgrounds, like the scene where the kid is running toward the camera. Very well done.

The only things that I could see using some improvement would be optimizing your curves, a little work on the voice acting, and work on the walking animaion. The kid looked like schwarzenegger pretending to be a runner in the special olymics.

AligatorHead responds:

oh . . . ..

[kill bill clock trailer]

Don't.

Please, just don't.
There's already an aborted Clock version of Kill Bill out by TheBluntSDK, and another one in the works by Munglai.
Both of them are better than this (no offense.)

This movie has almost no animation, the sound quality is complete shit, and the pacing is horrible.

Work on something original.

[Foamy's Rant III]

Actually...

Not that bad.
The background has a nice Edward Gorey touch to it, and the animation, though jumpy, did have an interesting focus on bodily expressions (If you streamed the sounds, the sync would probably be much better.)

[3 SBC deaths]

Not bad

Pretty well animated, and the sound was nicely done. Some of the more basic things could use touch-ups, but it was pretty solid overall.

[Stick Slayer: Episode One]

Wow

I was just looking back at my oldest reviews, and I realized I was an ignorant fuck. (It should also be noted I was a dirty liar.)

Any distaste I ever had for this series is hands-down the worst decision I've ever made about a flash movie,
I owe this series for bringing me back to newgrounds after I spent months away from it at sfdt, which would, in turn, lead me to the ClockCrew, which inspired getting back into animating, and... wow.

God bless you, Ben Spurgin.
I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for this series.

Ben-Spurgin responds:

Hehe wow man, after all the hate mail I get about Stick Slayer (Strange, poeple USED to like him ...?) yours was a refreshing change! Thanks a lot man! YOu made my day :D

[Dark, and alone 3]

:\

Pretty good, but don't let the award go to your head.
Spend some more time on developing your animation skills. The walking motion and a lot of the tweening looked pretty bad. Don't churn out movies every chance you get. Take some time and work on your movies, because this style will only get you so far.

The movie itself is mildly amusing, but the lack of voice acting hurt it (as well as some of the oddly constructed dialogue), and the odd backwards noises in the musical score seemed more apropos for a psychological flash than one such as this.

2/5